The Toltec agreements aim at finding freedom and personal well-being, present in the ancestral Mexican culture. It is Don Miguel, in 1997, who shares with us this precious information to help us feel more in tune with ourselves.
Table of contents
- The Toltec Agreements: what are they?
- What are the Toltec agreements?
- For whom?
1. The Toltec Agreements: what are they?
The Toltec agreements are contracts, conscious or unconscious, that we have with ourselves, with others or with an entity.These contracts allow us to harmonize our values with our actions to allow us to bring joy to ourselves, without constraining us to certain rules. It is important to try to get there as much as possible, without creating a straitjacket that would limit us in the transformation of our lives.
2. What are the Toltec agreements?
There are 4 main Toltec agreements, and one that was added later. So you can follow these 5 agreements to understand which path to follow to find inner peace.
a. 1st agreement : Let your word be impeccable
Words have a particularly important power. Used wisely, they can work wonders, and increase self-esteem. On the other hand, words can also hurt you, or others in particular.
That’s why the first Toltec agreement asks that we speak only with integrity. Take the time to think, to weigh your words. Don’t let the emotion of a situation make you say offensive things. But instead promote love and kindness in what you say.
Being honest does not mean hypocritical or even impulsive. But it means being able to say what you think, choosing appropriately the words you want to use to convey an idea, or an opinion.
For example, if you feel that one of your colleagues is not efficient today, don’t say “you’re not doing anything”, but rather ask him if everything is going well, because he seems elsewhere. The relationship will be more serene.
For yourself, the logic is similar. Be careful to choose your words about yourself.
b. Agreement #2: Whatever happens, don’t make it personal
We are unique, and see the world in our own way, according to our education, our beliefs, our history, our fears etc. We interpret each element of the world in our own way. The same story, the same event will not be perceived in the same way between you and another. Each eye receives life in a different way. You do not know what the other understands, interprets or feels. It is the same on his side! He does not know how you visualize his world. No thought is more true than another.
Also remember that you are not the others, and you are not responsible for their behavior or actions. Don’t think that they are acting according to you or against you. They act according to their upbringing or their values.
If someone insults you in the street, he does not know you, so it is not against you. But in his upbringing and the way he learned to communicate in his social environment was perhaps full of insults. So he expresses himself in the way he has been conditioned to.
So don’t put yourself at the center of situations. See them as facts or events that are external to you. Leave your intuitions aside and focus on the objective aspect of events.
c. 3rd agreement: Never make assumptions
We often tend to want to interpret the actions or words of others. In general, we make assumptions, rather negative, about the people around us or their intentions. Just as we don’t know the history of others, we don’t know their ideas about a situation. We end up believing so strongly in what we think, that we consider our assumptions as certainties. We therefore end up acting towards others according to what we think of their actions. Our response and our idea may be biased.
So dare to ask questions, dare to express yourself when you need to. Speak clearly about yourself, share what you think and feel.
c. 4th Agreement: Always do your best
The best is not necessarily the best of ourselves. Give yourself 100%, never less, but never more either. Whether it is in your actions, in your projects but also in your relationships. The best of ourselves fluctuates, depending on our mood, our energy, our thoughts and our desires.
Act with awareness, appreciate what you are doing, and do it from the heart. Set limits for yourself as to what you will accept, and how far you feel you can go. Accept that you may not be perfect, or that you may fail at some things.
Give yourself SMART goals. These goals are :
- Specific: Have a clearly defined goal. You know clearly what you are going to do in your projects
- Measurable: You can objectify your objectives in a quantitative way, either in time or in actions.
- Achievable: Your goals must be within your reach, and you must have the means to advance.
- Realistic: Learn if your goals are achievable and relevant to your current situation
- Temporally defined: Give yourself a time goal. You can plan several small goals in a row to give yourself a guideline, or a defined goal within a defined time frame as well.
c. Agreement 5: Be skeptical, but learn to listen
Learn to doubt what you may be told. This can have real power. Indeed, our thoughts or words are governed by our emotions at the time. Being in questioning does not mean that we are afraid, but that we can be critical, listen and be kind to the other’s opinion or to our own opinion. We no longer let our idea be colored only by our emotion of the moment.
We tend to listen to the other person with the sole purpose of answering and going against their arguments. We must therefore learn to listen to the other person in order to understand him or her, and to accept his or her point of view.
3. For whom?
For adults, for children. For all those who want to help themselves to find their way to inner peace.
Every day, take care of yourself by thinking about these agreements. You can write them down on a piece of paper, or in your phone and remind yourself of them when you need to.