"I cured my anxiety": myths, realities and what really helps

Videos, podcasts, articles: stories from people who say they have cured their anxiety are everywhere. They feel good to hear when you are struggling. They can also make you feel guilty: if that person got through it with a simple method, why not you?

Let us start with a distinction. Anxiety is a normal emotion, useful when facing a difficulty. No one gets rid of it, and it would not be desirable to. An anxiety disorder is something else: an excessive fear or worry that lasts and gets in the way of your daily life. According to figures from the French health authority (HAS) cited by Inserm, a French health research institute, 15% of adults in France aged 18 to 65 have severe anxiety disorders in a given year, and 21% over their lifetime[1]. These disorders are therefore common, and you have nothing in particular to blame yourself for.

The word "cured" can then cover several realities:

• feeling better: fewer symptoms, less avoidance;
• being in remission: no longer meeting the criteria for the disorder, for a certain period of time;
• never relapsing again: this is the hardest thing to promise.

Researchers themselves do not have a single definition of remission, which makes the figures vary from one study to another[2]. Inserm, for its part, states that treatment relieves most patients, but only rarely cures them[1]. This is not a pessimistic message: many people regain a life that feels like their own, without the anxiety disappearing altogether.

"Being cured means never feeling anxiety again"

False. Aiming for zero anxiety is the surest way to monitor yourself constantly, and to worry at the first sign. In the testimonials collected by the French association Phobies-Zéro, several people do not say they are completely free: they describe instead a different relationship with their symptoms, which they fear less. That is often the real change.

"If this person got through it, their method will work for me"

Not necessarily. A testimonial tells a true story, with an anxiety, an entourage and a moment in life that are not yours. You also do not hear from those for whom the same method changed nothing. Keep the hope it brings, not the recipe.

"There is a natural remedy that solves the problem"

No. Herbs, magnesium or essential oils are often promoted, sometimes by those who sell them. Inserm does mention a possible avenue for omega 3[1], but none of these products replaces proper care in the case of an anxiety disorder. If you would like to try them, talk to your doctor or pharmacist, because interactions exist.

"I just need to understand where my anxiety comes from"

Not always. Understanding helps, but it is not always enough to reduce fear. Many people know very well that their fear is excessive and avoid the situation anyway. Change often also comes through what you do: gradually taking back the situations you gave up.

"Taking medication means not really being cured"

False. A prescribed medication is neither a failure nor a shameful crutch. It can help you regain enough stability to move forward. The decision is made with a doctor, including the decision to stop: never do it alone, or all at once.

"It all started in my head, so I have to get through it alone"

False. Some manage it, especially when the difficulty remains mild. But asking for help is not an admission of weakness, and waiting often gives avoidance time to settle in.

Here is what research shows, without promises or pessimism.

• About one adult in two in remission after CBT. Across 100 analyzed articles, the average remission rate reaches 51%, with large differences depending on the disorder and the definition used[2].
• Benefits that last, at least in part. A meta-analysis of 69 trials and 4,118 patients finds an advantage for CBT up to 12 months compared with control groups. Beyond that, it persists for generalized anxiety and social anxiety, but not for panic disorder[3]. The authors point out that most of the trials are of low quality.
• Little data on relapses. In the same analysis, they range from 0 to 14% after 3 to 12 months, but only 6 trials measured them[3].
• A course that is sometimes long. In an American study that is already old, 167 patients with generalized anxiety were followed for 5 years: the remission rate reached 38%[4]. It is a reminder that this disorder can last, and that the figures depend a great deal on the care setting.
• Stopping an antidepressant calls for caution. Among patients who were doing better, 36.4% of those switched to placebo relapsed, compared with 16.4% of those who continued their treatment, with follow-up of one year at most[5].

These figures are averages. They do not predict what will happen to you. Above all, they help you spot a promise that is too good to be true: a "100% success rate" or a "permanent cure" corresponds to nothing that studies measure.

This is the question everyone asks, and there is no single answer. No timeframe applies to everyone, and a precise figure presented as a rule should alert you.

Two horizons need to be distinguished:

• Getting relief in the moment: a few minutes can be enough. Slow breathing changes heart rate variability from the very first session[7]. It helps you get through a surge of anxiety, but does not address what keeps it going.
• Changing lastingly: count in months rather, with regular work. Your therapist can give you an estimate after the first sessions, and reassess it along the way.

Several factors make this time vary: how long the disorder has been present, its intensity, how regularly you do the exercises, a possible depressive episode[1], and what is going on in your life.

How can you tell you are getting better?

Do not measure your progress by the anxiety level on a given day. Look instead at what you have taken back:

• you take the metro, the plane or speak up in meetings again;
• a surge of anxiety bothers you, but no longer ruins the whole day;
• you fear your own symptoms less;
• you decide according to what you want, not according to what you can avoid.

Noting these small victories helps you see how far you have come, especially on bad days. Your practitioner can also track progress with questionnaires, such as the GAD-7 for generalized anxiety[1].

No single method suits everyone. Here is what rests on the most solid evidence.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

CBT helps identify the thoughts that sustain anxiety and gradually reduce avoidance. Depending on your country, find out from your health system how to access sessions with a psychologist for mild to moderate distress, and ask whether they are trained in CBT. For severe anxiety disorders, also ask your doctor what coverage exists for long-term care.

Exposure, including in virtual reality

This is often where everything is decided: taking back, step by step, what fear has made you give up. For a specific phobia, exposure is the preferred treatment[9]. Some situations are nevertheless hard to organize at the right moment and in a gradual way.

Virtual reality exposure therapy meets this need. Inserm indicates that some therapists use it for these gradual exposures[1], and a meta-analysis of 26 trials concludes that this approach reduces anxiety and phobias[8]. With C2Care, the practitioner recreates, for example, a metro, a plane, a crowd, a supermarket or a public speaking situation. They run the session in real time and adapt the progression to your reactions. C2Care is currently used by 700 trained practitioners and 350 institutions. It is not a treatment in itself, but a tool in the service of therapy.

Medication, when indicated

SSRI antidepressants are used as a long-term treatment. Anxiolytics act quickly but carry a risk of dependence: they are prescribed for a short period[1]. These choices are made with a doctor.

Daily life and breathing

Regular sleep and routine, a balanced diet and physical activity are the first-line approach, even if this is often not enough on its own[1]. Be careful too with alcohol or tobacco used to calm down: the risk of addiction is higher with an anxiety disorder[1]. Breathing work has a small to moderate effect on stress[6]: it is useful, but not a solution by itself.

Welcoming rather than fighting

Fighting every sensation can feed the fear of being afraid. Learning to let a surge of anxiety pass, without fleeing, comes up often in personal accounts. Approaches based on acceptance and mindfulness work on this idea.

After a period when everything was going better, anxiety comes back during a bereavement, a separation, a job change or a lack of sleep. You then tell yourself: "I never really recovered." That is rarely true. What you have learned does not disappear.

Prepare for this moment with your therapist:

• identify your early warning signs: sleep, avoidance coming back, checking;
• keep a list of what has helped you;
• resume the exercises and situations early, without waiting for everything to settle down;
• get back in touch with your therapist or your doctor if it lasts.

When should you ask for help without waiting?

See someone if the anxiety persists, if you avoid more and more situations, if you sleep badly or if your mood drops. Inserm points out that anxiety and depression are often linked, and that having both increases the risk of chronicity[1]. Your family doctor can be a first point of contact. If you have suicidal thoughts, call or text 988[9] in the US (free, confidential, 24 hours a day, chat also available), or call Samaritans on 116 123[11] in the UK (free, 24 hours a day). If you are in another country, contact your local services.

What to remember about "I cured my anxiety"

A personal account can give you hope, but not a set of instructions. Getting out of anxiety most often means regaining your freedom of movement, without the emotion disappearing. About one adult in two reaches remission after CBT[2], and there is no universal timeframe. Be wary, then, of quick promises. The best-documented approaches involve therapy and the gradual return to avoided situations, with medication if your doctor considers it useful.